Big Brother Is Watching?

There has been much in the news in the US – and thus bleeding in to world news – about the proposed SOPA and PIPA reforms going to Congress some say as soon as next week.

In case you haven’t heard of this – which if you are a frequent user of the internet it is highly unlikely – SOPA and PIPA are both anti-piracy laws several Congressmen and CEO’s are trying to introduce into Government. According to the BBC website, “The US bills are designed to block access to site containing unauthorised copyright material. Content owners and the US government would be given the power to request court orders to shut down sites associated with piracy. Advertisers, payment processors and internet service providers would be forbidden from doing business with infringers overseas. SOPA also requires search engines to remove foreign infringing sites from their results, a provision absent in PIPA”.

You may now be thinking, “Well that’s fine, it won’t affect me as I never illegally download”. That song you listened to on YouTube? Well that’s now banned for breaching copyright laws. Someone posts a link on facebook to a video they don’t have copyright for? Banned. Wikipedia with all of its free information sharing? Well, that’s just got to go. And don’t even get me started on tumblr. And it isn’t that they may just be banned from being viewed anywhere within the United States but due to offices being in the US itself the entire website may have a court ordered closure.

Of course, there are always ways around this. Filters only block words in addresses on the internet, much like school or college filters and if you have the IP address, you can enter this in much the same way and still gain access to the desired site. However, due to a law in SOPA, this would be made highly illegal to share this information and would have consequences.

Other propositions included in the bill are that any person found guilty streaming – not downloading, not file sharing, streaming – you know, that thing you do on YouTube when you watch a video? – ten or more times within six months should face up to five years in prison.

Several websites have protested this – Wikipedia included, who claim that 162 million people saw its blackout page and the message it had to share – claiming it is an infringement on the US constitutional rights to privacy and free speech. Several Republican candidates who originally supported the Bill have since removes their support from it – a move which The Motion Picture Association of America, a strong supporter of the bill, has called “a stunt”. The irony being I guess that if these websites were to shut down – the facebooks and twitters of the world - the film, television and music industry would likely be damaged due to loss of advertising available to the general public.

The Bills, which originally looked to pass now seems to be struggling in support as eight million US citizens contacted their Senate representative and asked them to not back the Bills in the past week. Co-founder Matt Mullenweg of Wikipedia has said, “The authors of the legislation don’t seem to understand how the internet works”.

Even after all of this President Obama still has the power to veto the Bills completely, should it come to Government. In a statement released from the White House at the weekend, they said, “We will not support legislation that reduces freedom of expression, increases cyber-security risk or undermines the dynamic, innovative global internet”.

Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made?

I'm not even sure how to begin to describe New York. Magical is maybe a good adjective? I got overly excited riding in my first yellow cab, seeing the sky scrapers that surrounded everything, towering over the thousands of people scuttling about the streets below, illuminated by the billboards and lights streaming from store windows that were open till 2/3am. As the taxi drove up the avenues, I'm pretty sure I got whiplash trying to twist my head quickly enough to see everything on both sides of the streets. My eyes were virtually popping from my head and I felt as excited as a five year old on Christmas.

I'm not even sure why I wanted to go to New York so much - it's not like other cities where there are hundreds of old churches built by the Romans to see. But there is just something about the city that I knew was captivating. It has always seemed like this magical city where anything can happen. Dreams are made - or broken - wishes granted, loves found.

Well I did fall in love; with the city but it still counts. I've never felt homesick leaving a city I'd spent so little time in before. Three nights - that's all I had. An eight hour flight for a three night visit. Hundreds of pounds spent getting there and being there for just four days.

And it was worth every penny.

It was a record heat wave for January and I couldn't sleep. After being awake for twenty four hours straight and getting a comfortable eight hours of sleep, I found myself wide awake at six am. After various unsuccessful attempts at getting back to sleep - my mind screaming at me that I had just woken up in New York City - I showered, dressed and went out for a walk by eight am. I've never been that wide awake or that happy just ot walk around at eight am before in my life.

I headed to Central Park, grabbing a coffee along the way and just walked. Walked a street that some 8-million people living on Manhattan Island take for granted every day. And I was never more enthusiastic to be walking this street, just watching people walk past me. Joggers and dog walkers alike all taking advantage of the city's good weather. The most amusing thing I saw that morning? Two elderly women who met up to walk dogs and share gossip. I can't imagine anyone in Scotland ever doing this - especially not with the near hurricane weather we've been experiencing the past few weeks.

Other tourist things I did? The Empire State building with its heart-achingly beautiful views. The Rockerfeller Centre and its world famous ice-rink. The Metropolitan Museum of Art. And Times Square.

Times Square - somewhere that had been photographed countless times, been visited by a billion strangers; yet it has somehow never lost a sparkle of its charm. I remember sitting on the red steps, bang in the middle of Times Square that first night, severely jet-lagged having been awake for 20 hours by this point and thinking, "This is it - I'm here". We must have sat there for almost an hour and I could have sat there for much longer. There was so much to take in, so many people and the oddest thing? How warm it felt. A strange combination of hundreds of lights, the subway being near enough street level and an interesting layout of buildings that blocked the wind, it was warm. Not summer warm but not the unbearable winters I have grown up with.

And that doesn't even cover Broadway. I saw a Broadway show. I saw a Broadway show, starring a man I very much admire. And not even just a Broadway show - a Broadway musical! That part hasn't even quite sunk in yet.

And a gig in the Village? I went to the Village. It just sounds cool. "Oh what did you do at the weekend?", "I went to the Village to see a show". And even more - it was a small show that was attended by some of the coolest people I have never dreamed I could meet.

Being the geek that I am, I have always found delight in books. And the books that got me through my parents separation when I was growing up? Harry Potter of course. A magical world that I could escape into for a few hours and pretend that the reality that I was living in wasn't there.

Then this group of kids was brought to my attention - known as Starkids - this group of people all met at college and bonded over their mutual love of theatre. No they didn't "save" me or have any great impact on my life. But they did make me see that it was okay to be as geeky or nerdy or as uncool as you want and you'll still find a great group of people to connect with and call friends - and travel 3500 miles to a city you've never been to, with girls you've met for all of five hours.

And in true New York magical fashion I got to meet some of these people.

And even more than that - a beautiful girl who works in my dream job by day and is a rock star by night. Someone who's show we went to see. A strong, kind person who I have grown to greatly idolise, Miss Mia Swier:

Sure, I didn't get "discovered" or fall madly in love with my ultimate soul mate - but I had what can only be described as the weekend of my life, spent with amazing people being in a magical city doing things that I love. This city was the things my dreams were made of and I am thankful that I got to experience it at young enough an age that I can ensure I will have time to visit it as frequently as possible in the future.

Life is what you make it.

YOU. Not anyone else. We all think we're free yet all seem so unhappy with our current situations or have bad days and are just so generally unhappy.

Why?

You are your own solution to your problems. Why do you feel unhappy? Is it your weight, your looks? Something so superficial as the image you portray?

When did it not become okay to be happy? When you have a good day and are smiling people often ask why? Why can we not choose to be happy until something affects us that makes us unhappy?

I am someone who has always had serious issues with happiness. I want more in life, out of life. I feel like if I could just get that something, everything would be fine. But I don't even know what the something is that I am searching for.

One day I want to be an actress or a singer - then remember I'm pretty bad at both. Then maybe a journalist or something to do with the media sector. I want to live in Paris, New York, London anywhere but home; but don't want to be too far from my family. I start things I never finish. I fall for people I'll never get and shun the one's who show interest because they don't "have quite what I'm looking for", or "maybe there is something better". I'm angry cause I'm lonely but hide away from the people in my life who love me.

I am unhappy because I choose to be. I have ample means in my life for happiness but ignore them because I may not have the material things in life that society has taught us to yearn for.

This year I am choosing to be happy. To love the people in my life who deserve it. To make my life what I want it to be. To chase after the opportunities I have always sought, regardless of fear of failure. I'm not saying I won't have bad days - but I am saying I refuse to let them cloud over the good ones and keep me back from being happy.

'Tis The Season?

With Christmas almost a week away, being in the middle of a double dip recession, some people are struggling to stop that panicked feeling that has become regularly associated with the holidays.

Consumerism taking full field nowadays, Christmas has become all about who can buy the biggest and best for their families. From the top toys ranging in prices from £25 to £100, children as young as 10 are asking for things such as iPods or laptops.

I remember - way back in the day, around 10 years ago - when I was 8 or 9 getting a post office set that provided me with years of entertainment, that would of cost around £10. One of the highlights of Christmas being getting a new colouring book and pens that I would spend all of Christmas night playing with.

One of the main traditions we have in our family is everyone getting a new set of jammies to open on Christmas Eve so that we wake up with them on Christmas morning - one that even though I'll be 22 in a week, we still hold.

This year both my parents have harassed me with what to get for my birthday and Christmas - both a day apart. And my honest answer - I have no idea. At 21 I have everything I could possibly need - a phone, a computer an iPod, shoes, clothes. So I have been struggling to decide on what to get. The one thing I really want? A long lie in. Seriously - I have a job so anything I've ever needed I've happily saved and bought myself.

This may sound almost like bragging, "Oh girl who has everything", but its not. It's just I have everything I need. Of course what I need and what I want are two different things.

I would love to get my expensive, shiny things that are useless to general living but I don't ask for them because the ones I have are sufficient or I just can't bring myself to ask for such a waste of money - which doesn't seem to be a problem with much of the youth nowadays.

They have come to expect things which the probably don't deserve, because lets face it, when it comes to Christmas people are spoilt. They want the expensive brand name, latest model and nothing short of that is acceptable. Christmas - traditionally a time for family, fun and food - has become a competition to keep up with the Jones'. People stress out over whether or not their presents are enough or that they in turn are receiving enough, instead of being happy that there is one day a year that they get to spend in their family.

This year, I am grateful for the time I get with my family, because between work, college and everyone else's commitments I never really get to see them. So that is the one gift I'm looking forward to recieving this year.

Well...that and a new suitcase. My one practical gift that I am more than over-the-moon excited to be getting!

It Gets Better

So if you didn't know there is a project called Its Gets Better who's primary responsibility is promoting that if you are a gay teen...well it gets better. I love and fully support this project. No, I'm not gay - just a human being with a social concious.

There has been a lot of press the past year about teens committing suicide because of the extreme bullying they receive because of their sexual orientation. I've never been able to wrap my head around how someone can single out one particular person for a trait so natural as sexual attraction.

Contrary to what some institutions may tell you - it is biological and in the genetic make-up of a person. Its not something you learn or catch or something that someone can change in you or "fix". Its you. Its who you are and the way you were made.

And it breaks my heart when people hate on other people - or worse, themselves - for the way they were made.

Take for instance one of my best friends. He came out to me around about two years ago and even with this amazing support system around him - an accepting family and friends who love him for who he is, no matter what - he has on more than one occasion told me he wishes he was born "normal". If that's how he feels being fully accepted in his life, could you imagine what it would be like if his friends or family didn't love him just the way he was?

To bully someone because they are gay is along the same lines as bullying someone because of the colour of their skin. Its something they can't change - nor should they want to. Because of a few small minded people in this world, it has been promoted as something that is wrong and almost disease like.

And it needs to stop.

The world is changing - for better or worse, I'm not quite sure. But through these changes we need to realise that people are people. To quote someone extraordinary, "It doesn't matter if your gay, straight, purple, orange or dinosaur. That what makes you different, makes you stronger".

So please, no matter what it is you're going through in life, just remember - it DOES get better.

www.itgetsbetter.org

Where To Begin?

I like to write. I find it easier to express words when you have a moment to mull them over. When you don't feel pressured to say something brilliant in the heat of the moment and can go back and edit your words so they sound just right.

This also has the amazing down side that if you think about it too much the words play around in your head for so long that you never get anything done.

This past month-ish has been a strange one for me. I've felt so disconnected from everything and everyone in my life, so much so that I wrote something that one of my oldest and closest friends saw and read. And it hurt him. Well I'm guessing it hurt him because he had some very angry words to say over twitter. I apologised for the words I had said but I don't think its right to apologise for the emotions behind them.

And what were the emotions? Loneliness. That's it. Pure, un-adulterated loneliness. I'm not even sure where this came from. I'm almost constantly surrounded by people at work and at college, so much so that when I'm not at either I spend most of my time alone in my room. I just sit and listen to music or watch TV/ Films or read or sometimes even write. But lately I've felt an inherent need to be with people. To have the people in my life that make me laugh or that I can talk to.

Which is a lie because I never talk to anyone. I listen. I write. But I never talk.

I've always felt extremely uncomfortable expressing emotions vocally. Which is a shame because if you never say anything, it all goes unsaid.

Words even fail to cover how much I am grateful for the people in my life. My five or six (depending on which stage in our lives we're at) best friends who I've known mostly since High School some even younger. And we haven't always been in each others lives in the way we are now. We drift in and out depending on where we are in our own story. But we've been pretty solid for the past three years and it's made me happy to know these people are in my life.

But there are patterns to life - as much as people say its full of surprises, these "surprises" usually follow a sequence. And I can't help but be terrified that this sequence is that we all grow older and go our separate ways. And so how do I deal with that? Get sad and push those away who are closest to me so I can't be hurt somewhere down the line. Its almost like bracing yourself to remove a plaster. The slower you do it, the less it hurts when it actually comes off. Ripping it quickly only hurts like a bitch.

Which is so stupid. Like seriously stupid. Even if I do get into the University I want, I still have 2 more years here. So what? I'm going to make myself miserable now so I'll be less miserable in the future when I leave everyone and everything I know and love and be miserable? Whole lot of misery right there.

So after my talk with my friend (He shouted at me), I realised how insane that was, to pull away from people I love because of life getting in the way. I want to live "in the moment" (Yes ladies and gentlemen, we've reached the soppy cliché part of the blog) and actively be a part of my friends lives. Because even if we do go our own ways 2 or 5 or 10 years down the line, I'll still have these memories to look back on. And I don't want them just to be filled with my own self pity and my resentment to change.

Its Glee Time

Everyone tune into your TV set because Glee is back!

Except, not everyone did. In fact this seasons premier was down almost 2 million people from last season. 2 million people. In America alone. That is a lot of people.

And can you blame them really? Last season was a confused muddle of story lines and plot points and too many guest stars and stand alone episodes. You can’t really blame those 2 million people who decided not to bother tuning in this season.

Last year, where to begin. Lets start with the Bi Polar characters. Quinn was up and down more times than a swing. First she loves Sam, then wants Finn, then goes single white female for, what was it again, oh yeah, prom queen. Then you have Santana, who went from sleeping with everyone, to being in love with a girl to also turning single white female into trying to manipulate a situation so this person would have no choice to date her. And don’t even get me started with the caricature that is now Sue Sylvester.

Then you have the high school break up and make up love triangles which were thoughly recycled from season 1 that had played their need out then.

Then there was the uselessness that was Mr Schue. I mean, really other than prolonging the annoyance that was Gwyneth Paltrow’s guest appearance, what did he actually do last year? Because I’m pretty sure that I never once seen him teach.

And the only good thing, in my opinion, that they had going last year was the introduction of the Warblers. A different, if not utopian, school that existed outside the halls of McKinley High School at Dalton. They were something different from the constant remake of top 40 songs that the radio had severely overplayed already and here we were, having to listen to them again in a pitch higher.

Then we get the season 3 opener and…wait did they just get rid of the Warblers. And the stand out star from last year - Blaine Anderson, previous prep, straight edge boy - is now shaking his hips to Tom Jones? Blaine your Darren Criss is showing. Oh, and Quinn remembers she has a baby now? Wow, that was pretty much ignored all last season. Mr Schue is suddenly pissed the Cheerios aren’t showing loyalty? But…that’s what’s always happened. Why the sudden urge to pick a side. And do they even have enough people to compete in show choir competitions any more? And we want to cut back on new characters and focus on the core cast - but we’re going to get rid of Lauren and Sam and introduce 4 or 5 new people no one gives a crap about. And guess what kids? Gwyneth will be back even though there is no other possible story line she can have!

Glee as always felt misguided. Like a child who gets bored colouring in half way through a drawing. I just wish someone would sit the writers down to watch the previous two seasons so they know exactly who did what. I think this season will be less of a joke if they do.